Fooling Ourselves

Hey everyone! It's officially turkey day on the East Coast (here in Del Rio, we're still shy approximately five minutes)! I could blog about how I spent all day making pies, but I won't. It was pretty anticlimactic (although, I confess that I did have a little taste of my friend Brenda's famous pumpkin bars just to make sure I didn't screw them up (I didn't - and yum!)). Instead, I thought of the perfect blog topic the other night: why do we fool ourselves?

I'm sure we're all guilty of the occasional white lie every now and then. (Frankly, I don't think I could be friends with someone who didn't engage in this practice once in awhile. It's just human nature and a useful resource for sparing feelings.) But what I really don't get is when we try to trick ourselves into believing something. Don't we know ourselves well enough by this point in life? How could we fall for such a thing?

A simple example of this is my constant need to rationalize what I eat. Oh, food regrets - those are the worst. So, in an effort to assuage the guilt I feel after gorging on some snack or sweet, I'll often try to convince myself that I didn't have a full serving or that it didn't have any calories as the package says because it's Sunday or something. Do I buy these ridiculous excuses? No, not really. But I continue to do it, time and time again.

The ultimate attempt to fool myself, though, is when I insist that I am not, I am NOT falling asleep. Here's what I mean: Often, when I'm snuggled up on the couch at night watching the boob tube, I'll start to doze off. But I'm not willing to throw in the towel yet. Oh no. I will finish, MUST finish whatever pointless thing I'm watching. So here's my genius plan: I will simply rest my eyes for a little while, but not to worry - I will still be able to follow the story, sporting event, what-have-you, by LISTENING.

Has this strategy ever worked? Nope. Not even once. Not when my brother and I stayed up late while we were in high school watching "Zapped Again" (which Scott Baio was evidently too good for) on one of the cheap local cable channels. Not during my first three attempts at getting all of the way through the movie "Fletch" (great movie, but it was like some kind of weird curse - sometime after Fletch told them to "put it on the Underhill's tab," the sandman would pay me a visit). Not when I watched my Ti-Fauxed episode of "Samantha Who?" from the other night. (I would start the episode, fall asleep about five minutes in, wake up at some point after the credits and, INCREDIBLY, try to get through it again - with the same master plan.)

The point? I'm not fooling anyone. But you can't blame me for trying.

Who Says Nothing Happens in Del Rio?

Okay, I admit it. I've said that. Many times. When one of the approximately two decent restaurants in town is dead at prime time on a Saturday night, this necessarily causes me to question what on earth people are doing in Del Rio. (Incidentally, Chili's is always hopping; no, I do not consider that one of the select two, although, relative to its competition from iHop to Pizza Hut, it's certainly passable.)

I've voiced my concern several times to my friends in far sexier places (New York, D.C., Dallas, Austin), and I have to tell you - I love my friends. In times of waning excitement, it's nice to know that my peeps are looking out for me. Case in point: I received a flood of e-mails from my preferentially-located pals yesterday with the following (or a very similar) headline:

‘Bachelor’ winner arrested for unruliness; Mary Delgado was arrested after refusing to leave a Texas bar

http://www.austin360.com/news/content/shared-gen/ap/TV/People_Bachelor_Winner_Arrest.html

"Where could this Texas bar be?" I hear you ask. Well, that's the interesting part. Yes, you can probably gather from the context that, indeed, baby-obsessed Bachelor Bob runner-up and Bachelor Byron winner Mary Delgado was arrested for causing a ruckus at some establishment in Del Rio. Of course, the articles I reviewed fail to mention which bar, which I think is a little fishy. I need to know these things, as I'm clearly missing all of the action in this town. If I had to guess, I would say it was probably the bar in the lakeside "resort" purportedly owned by Byron Velvick, the famed pro bass fisherman (note: I use the term "resort" very loosely). Maybe they got into some kind of heated argument over the lack of spice in the queso.

But there you have it. I guess I have to go eat my words now.

Information That Would Have Been Nice To Know . . . Yesterday

Cat's officially out of the bag. I've got a bun in the oven. I'm a first timer, so it's super exciting for me (even more so for my husband who got all choked up when he saw the swag I got at an "OB Orientation" class at the Air Force Base - I thought that dads couldn't care less about burp cloths and onesies - evidently, I was wrong). So, as a first timer, I immediately went out and bought the latest "What to Expect When You're Expecting" (which, thankfully, no longer features the picture of that matronly lady in a rocking chair on the cover), and a few very generous friends sent me some other helpful books. So rock on - I was equipped with all of the information needed to navigate my nine month journey. Right? Wrong.

Now, for those of you mothers out there, you remember the food aversions and cravings. Fortunately for me, I didn't have any true morning sickness, but the very thought of certain foods made me want to ralph (case in point: broccoli - still can't do it). Naturally, this led me to crave some very tame foods, a sharp contrast to my eclectic tastes in food. And yet, I couldn't just eat bread every day. The baby needed some protein. So guess what I turned to? Cold cuts.

But oh wait - - After dining on tasty turkey and club sandwiches for a good three weeks (but not every day), a friend tells me that she was told NOT to eat cold cuts. Did I see this in any of the pregnancy books I read? Nope. But all it took was one google search, and I confirmed my fear. Deli meats are off limits unless you first heat them to steaming in a microwave (and yeah - no thanks). So deli meats are out. That might have been nice to know . . .

So I was sitting in the waiting room this afternoon for my latest doctor visit, and I decided to peruse one of the mom-to-be magazines. There was this section with letters from readers about the things they did before they knew they weren't supposed to. One woman wrote about her daily deli sandwiches, and I thought to myself, "Wow, that stinks - every day? At least my slip only happened a few times a month." And then I kept reading until I read, "I was craving Greek salads . . ." Oh no! I have been jonesing for Greek salads for three weeks now, and I have been making them at home, complete with feta cheese. Yup, feta is a no-no. As Adam Sandler would say, that is information that would have been nice to know YESTERDAY!

Thankfully, the baby seems to be all right with these minor slip-ups, as he gave me a little high five wave during my ultrasound today.