What Would You Say?

I am a creature of habit when it comes to eating. While I certainly enjoy a variety of cuisines, when I first discover something I like, I tend to go on a little mini binge with it. It's not really binging in the true sense (no, I don't gluttonously consume mass quantities in one sitting), but I do engage in a routine of consuming my new discovery on a frequent, and often repetitive, basis.

My friend Kim once gave me a Whirlipop for my birthday. It's no secret that I love popcorn, of course (hence the decision to gift to me this fantastic contraption), but I bet even Kim didn't know just how far I took it. I ate popcorn every day for a solid two weeks after that sucker was mine. Did I eventually get sick of it? Well, not really. Popcorn is one of those things I could eat every day without complaint. But I did end up eventually having to make room for some other foods in my diet, so I had to start occasionally letting popcorn take a backseat.

Since moving back to Texas, while I, sadly, have been robbed of the Starbucks molasses cookie (damn regional differences), I have been reintroduced to two WONDERFUL fast food delights. Taco Cabana and Sonic. If you haven't become acquainted with Taco Cabana, you're missing out. It is so many leagues above Taco Bell (try the chicken fajita taco - out of this world), and they even serve beer there. What could be better? I have to be honest too - I have eaten at countless sit down Tex-Mex places since I've been here, and Taco Cabana's chips and queso cream them all (is that a pun? almost, I think - but not quite). I ate Taco Cabana yesterday and then immediately craved it again today. And yum. It was just as tasty and satisfying on Day 2.

And then there's Sonic. Man, oh man. Sonic is awesome. It's true you have to deal with that awkward dilemma of whether to tip the carhop who delivers your food (they have a drive thru, but I can't tell the difference between that and the regular ordering style - you still get a carhop when you "drive thru"). However, it is well worth the effort. I've become accustomed to swinging by the Sonic after a good gym workout to get a refreshing Diet Cherry Limeade. I recently added a regular sized tater tots to my routine, which kind of defeats the purpose of the gym, but they're so tasty that I can't pass them up. I've earned it.

Which brings me to my point for today. After a great hour and a half workout at the gym, I pulled into Sonic to reward myself with a Diet Cherry Limeade and some tots. When the carhop comes out to deliver my food, I ask the rhetoric "How are you?" (translation: "Give me my tots and scram!")

Here's what I get in response: "Ugh. I feel fat today. It's all my husband's fault."

Now, I think I just uttered a non-committal, yet sympathetic "awww," but this begs the question - what the heck did she expect me to say? The girl looked like she was in her early twenties, and she was puffy - not fat - but dough boy puffy. I had seen her there before and observed her as a little chubby, but nothing out of the ordinary. But was she pregnant? Perhaps that was what she was trying to tell me.

But I wouldn't dare suggest such a thing and risk ruining my Sonic routine.

Okay, So Your Name Is Mudd. Who Cares?

A week or so ago, my husband and I sat down to watch "National Treasure: Book of Secrets." While the first "National Treasure," was passable (certainly not great), I think even People magazine gave "Book of Secrets" a dismal review. Regardless, I do like history, and for a semi-action flick, there was at least the possibility that I could pick up a few historical tidbits. "Book of Secrets" partially delivered on that score. I learned a little more about the origin of the desk in the Oval Office. I learned that a smaller scale Statue of Liberty exists in Paris. But, I am sorry to report, that's about it (unless you count learning that Nicholas Cage really needs to just admit he's going gray and balding and be done with it - that was some seriously bad hair).

I just couldn't get behind the premise of the movie. I'll give you the nutshell. Nic's character, something "Gates," has his family name threatened when inexplicable bad guy (played by Ed Harris (see Nic - the bald thing isn't so bad)) comes forward with a dog eared page from the diary of John Wilkes Booth that implicates Nic's great great grandfather in the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. Nic spends the entire movie, traveling to Paris and London, and then ultimately kidnapping the President of the United States (yeah, right) at a birthday function at Mount Vernon trying to clear the Gates family name. He tells the story of Dr. Mudd, how even when he was cleared after setting Booth's broken leg, his reputation remained tarnished by association and the rumor that he was somehow complicit (I suspect that this was supposed to be one of those neat tidbits to pick up from watching the movie, but I already knew it so was unimpressed). Oh, and some kid at the White House Easter Egg roll taunts Nic with the latest headline, "Your family killed President Lincoln, nanny nanny boo boo." (as if an eight-year-old boy is really going to get all worked up about something that happened a century and a third before he was even born).

The entire plot was absolutely ridiculous and unbelievable, which still would have been okay with me had I found it remotely entertaining. What was even worse than Nic's antics was Ed Harris' bad guy, who was so obsessed with having his own family name get a gold star in the annals of history that he was willing to tap into Nic's dad's phone, follow Nic across the ocean, have a wild car chase in London that resulted in millions of dollars of property damage, and hold various members of Nic's family and friends at gunpoint. Really? Would you go that far?

As a relative of John Wilkes Booth myself, I would have to say no. Get over it. You weren't even there.

I'd Like To Be Envious, But Don't I Need A Reason?

Nope. Take it from me - you don't need a reason. At least not a legitimate one.

Case in point: Last night, I was watching the second episode of the second season (?) of "My Boys," that cute TBS sitcom about a twenty-something girl sports writer, P.J., who is always hanging out with the guys (including her male crushable roommate, Brendan, and her older brother, Andy - superbly played by Jim Gaffigan). So far, this season isn't quite as cute (or funny, for that matter), but of course I'm going to watch because what else is on besides "Celebrity Circus?" In addition to the "boys," P.J. has a sassy single girl sidekick named Stephanie, whose purpose seems solely to contrast P.J.'s tomboy with a boy-crazy, girly girl female character. In a word, Stephanie is annoying. It's probably just the writing, but Stephanie's lines are always so contrived, so stereotypical, so not funny. But last night, I learned something else about this Stephanie - she has one upped me!

At the end of last week's episode, Stephanie announced that she was going to forget about men for awhile and was going to focus her energy on writing a book. She even held up a little journal to show that she was serious. Well, last night, Stephanie and P.J. are walking down the sidewalk, and P.J. makes some comment about how Stephanie looks so happy. And this is what Stephanie reports: "I finished my book, and I sent it out, and four publishers are interested in it, and one of them even offered me a three book deal!!"

WTF?!!!! I'm not even kidding around. I was mad. Mad, mad, mad. How could this silly Stephanie person write a book in a week, and send it to four publishers (evidently skipping the whole agent step all together), and get ALL FOUR of them to consider it??? I spent months on my book, and have sent it to three agents, two of whom politely rejected it (well, assuming you count the one "Dear Author" letter as polite), and one of whom has not yet responded after several weeks. Four publishers? FOUR publishers?

I was practically inconsolable, having to remind myself again and again, "It's just a t.v. show, Amanda. It's not real."

Come On, Get Happy

I confess that I have been a little moody lately. Okay, more than a little. The highlight of my day yesterday was when I set my mocha light frappuccino on the edge of the table at the Riverwalk Starbucks, and it landed perfectly upside down on the ground, like a stellar flip cup performance. Too bad I hadn't taken a single sip before this happened. I still managed to salvage about a third of it, and I did drink it, out of pure desperation.

When it comes to feeling down, I turn to music if I can. Sometimes there is a part of me that just wants to feel sorry for myself, and that's when I put in something syrupy sad like a little Josh Groban. Other times, however, it's just time to pick myself up and play something that makes me deliriously happy. And I look to three tunes to accomplish this.

1. The Girl From Ipanema. Who doesn't know this song? It seems like it's been around forever. But I was reintroduced to it when I guy I dated in D.C., Josh, pulled it out of his CD collection in his car one day. He told me that he and his friends always put that in the CD player when one of them was pissed off, and it instantly cheered everyone up. I could see exactly what he meant. Normally listening to a favorite song of a guy who dumped me would cause me to wallow in self pity. But "The Girl From Ipanema" puts a smile on my face every time.

2. Freedom! '90. If you know me well, you know that I have a mild (very mild) obsession with George Michael. There are so many great George Michael songs, including the now mostly forgotten "One More Try" (very big at the Van Hoosen after school dance when I was in the 8th grade, but I think I've only heard it on the radio about five times in the twenty years since). I may not be a supermodel, like the women in the famous Freedom! video, but whenever I hear this song, I just want to get up and dance. It makes me think of my friend Michelle's bachelorette party and good times at the Adams Mill when I first moved to D.C. It just makes me happy.

3. Never Wanna F'n See You Again. This is the granddaddy of them all. It's a lesser known song, and probably only really recognized amongst those of us in college in the great state of Indiana in the 1990s. The chorus to this song would never make it on the radio because censoring it just doesn't have the same impact. I'll give you a half censored version anyway: "No, I never wanna f'n see you again. You've always been a bitch. Since I can't remember when. You irritate my brain. You're driving me insane. No, I never wanna f'n see you again. Why do you have to be such a bitch?" I can't explain what it is about this song, but the melody is so hoedown happy, and to have it go with these lyrics, where you know Rich Hardesty is smiling as he sings - it is everything that is right about swearing. Sometimes, it just makes you feel better. Proof of this, to me, was when I went on a Spring Break trip in law school to Vegas, Phoenix, and Mexico with eight of my classmates. And when we were all bickering in the van en route somewhere, singing along to this song was the only thing that could bring us all back together. In a word: awesome.

The Best of Sex

With the Sex and the City movie still fresh in my mind, I have been thinking back lately to the six seasons of the show on HBO. This was a great show for single women, and I have to say that it helped me through a lot of tough times, whether serious or shallow. I have Sex and the City to thank for my purchase of "He's Just Not That Into You," a book that, while largely tongue-and-cheek, could be the most liberating piece of self help I have ever read. This is where the mantra was born: "Don't Waste the Pretty" (i.e., don't waste one moment of your fabulous self on some guy who doesn't appreciate you). Here's a quick look at some of the best, most touching episodes.

1. Unoriginal Sin. This episode was a bright spot in an otherwise pretty much crap Fifth Season of the show (the one that was cut short because both Cynthia Nixon and SJP were pregnant - at least SJP was, which was obvious by the flowy, unflattering dresses they put her in (although nothing could explain the horrendous haircut)). This is the episode where Brady is baptized and Carrie is trying to decide what kind of message her book will have - whether it will be optimistic or pessimistic. Carrie also attends a daily affirmation seminar with Charlotte, who is discouraged about the way her marriage ended. In the end, after Charlotte suggests that "maybe it will work out" between Samantha and the cheating Richard, Carrie dedicates her book "To single women everywhere, and one in particular: My good friend Charlotte - who always believes in love." Whenever this episode comes on, I have to watch to the end because it is so sweet and makes me want to be a little more like Charlotte.

2. A Woman's Right To Shoes. How can any single woman not love this one about someone stealing Carrie's Manolos at a baby shower and the mother-to-be (a great cameo by Tatum O'Neal) criticizing "her choice" to buy such ridiculously expensive shoes? Even though the average age of brides has increased significantly over the last twenty years or so, I think there is still some pressure or expectation to want to get married and to want to have kids. But even if we don't do those things, our lives still matter. This episode really touched me because it made me think of all of the late nights at work at my old job and people talking about getting home to their spouses and kids while I, it appeared to be assumed, could work as late as needed because I only had a cat waiting for me at home. As women in the twenty-first century, we are lucky to be able to make many choices in life, and sometimes the non-traditional ones deserve to be celebrated too. I LOVED this episode.

3. Don't Ask, Don't Tell. This episode can be heartbreakingly hard to watch, but I think it just may be my absolute favorite. This is the one where Charlotte gets married to Trey and Carrie confesses the "Big Affair" to Aidan. There are so many parts that are sad, most notably Carrie pleading to Aidan, "maybe I can just be flawed" like the wood in the beautiful love seat he made as a wedding gift for Charlotte, and later Aidan coming to the church yard and telling her that he loves her but that it just isn't the kind of thing he can get over. But there are two gems in this episode that are unforgettable. The first is when Charlotte expresses some reservations to Carrie just before she walks down the aisle, and Carrie reassures her, "You don't have to do this. We can just catch a cab and get out of here, and everyone will just have to get over it." (her delivery of this line is perfect, and I can't do it justice in writing). And the second, the best, is at the very end, when she and the girls are taking pictures on the steps of the church and Carrie voices over, "It's hard to find people who love you no matter what. Lucky for me, I had three of them." I get a tear in my eye every time, and it is worth it EVERY TIME.

The episode where Carrie and Aidan break up a second time, however, I can't watch at all.

4. A Hop, Skip, and a Week. I very well could be the only person I know who liked Carrie with Jack Berger. Perhaps it is my obsession with Ron Livingston in Office Space - I'm not sure. But I was so happy to see him on Sex and the City. This episode, where Carrie and Berger take a "break" because he can't seem to get past his inferiority complex around her is another one of those sad ones. But at the same time, there is something strangely familiar about it. While Berger was certainly flawed, he was so in a very human way, and I felt bad for the guy. Sure, he shouldn't have dumped her on a post-it note, but he was a coward, especially because he knew he was wrong in his envy. The reason I love this episode, which is probably obvious to those who have seen it, is the reunion with Charlotte and Harry, when he asks her to marry him at the Jewish singles mixer. Her speech, "I don't care if you ever marry me. I just want to be with you" is her shining moment of the entire series. But I also love the end - Carrie knocking over the vase of carnations after receiving the post-it break up note - to the soundtrack of nothing but the water dripping from the vase onto the floor.

5. My Mother Board, My Self. This is yet another tearjerker, but it's such a goodie. While Carrie is a real jerk when she doesn't accept Aidan's help when her computer crashes, there are so many things to like about this episode. I love the scene with Miranda in the dressing room when the saleswoman is trying to help her pick out undergarments for the black dress she had to buy last minute for her mother's funeral - how Miranda resists the woman's efforts to help and finally breaks down and cries into her arms. I love when Carrie, seeing Miranda trying so hard to keep it together down the aisle after the service, jumps out of the Church pew and walks with her. And I love her voice over at the end when they spot Steve and Aidan at the back of the Church, "There's the kind of support you ask for, and the kind of support you don't ask for. And then there's the kind that just shows up . . ."